Adam Sandler Joining The Cult LyricsArtist: Adam Sandler
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Performed by adam sandler and allen
Transcribed by big brother.
[sounds of basketball being shot around]
Sandler: "hey man, Iâ€™m joining a religious cult."
Allen: "now, thatâ€™s ridiculous."
Sandler: "well, Iâ€™m joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
Allen: "what are you talking about? "
Sandler: "hey, donâ€™t fuck me on this, man, just sign up."
Allen: "no, Iâ€™m not going to join a cult!"
Sandler: "i canâ€™t believe youâ€™re pulling this shit on me after monday night --"
Sandler: "-- I wanted to watch monday night football and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!"
Allen: "yeah, well, you kept flippinâ€™ back to the game."
Sandler: "i wanted to see the fuckinâ€™ score! whadda you gotta do thatâ€™s so fucking importnat you canâ€™t join the religious cult with me? "
Allen: "well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
Sandler: "oh, boy, no no, I donâ€™t think you should do that. because this guy, russell -- heâ€™s the leader-guy of the cult --"
Allen: "-- yeah --"
Sandler: "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun being bad, like the beast canâ€™t come out because the sunâ€™s too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you
Up all sunburned and that guyâ€™s gonna get pissed at you and me!"
Allen: "well, Iâ€™m not in the cult, so I donâ€™t have to worry about pissing the leader guy off!"
Sandler: "look, Iâ€™m -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guyâ€™s been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense!
Allen: "well, good, but I donâ€™t want to join the cult. we can still hang out; I just wonâ€™t be in it with you."
Sandler: "the point is, Iâ€™m not gonna have time to hang out with you because Iâ€™m gonna be fuckinâ€™ busy with this fuckinâ€™ cult!"
Allen: "so Iâ€™ll visit on weekends -- weâ€™ll work it out."
Sandler: "no, the weekends are like the busiest time -- thatâ€™s when we go to flea malls and fuckinâ€™ malls and talk people into joining, man!"
Allen: "can I join for just a little while? I told my dad Iâ€™d go visit him in florida in three weeks."
Sandler: "well, just, weâ€™ll ask then, but we gotta join now."
Allen: "whatâ€™s the hurry? "
Sandler: "thereâ€™s a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuckâ€™s your problem? "
Allen: "well, I mean I donâ€™t really have to believe in this stuff, do i? "
Sandler: "no, no, just fuckinâ€™ tell everybody you believe in this shit -- when they say the sun sucks, go, "yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckinâ€™ hate it too, long live the fuckinâ€™ beast."
Allen: "i donâ€™t know, man. this is crazy."
Sandler: "look, theyâ€™re gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, youâ€™re gonna get food --"
Allen: "-- itâ€™s not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it? "
Sandler: "itâ€™s gonna be a haircut, all right? you said you need a haircut, theyâ€™re gonna fuckinâ€™ cut your hair. youâ€™re going in, saving twelve bucks, just fuckinâ€™ do it!"
Allen: "do you think the hot girl has a friend for me? "
Sandler: "yeah, sure, and if she doesnâ€™t, sheâ€™ll go out and recruit one for you!"
Allen: "well, all right. but, hey, if I donâ€™t like it, Iâ€™m going to escape, man."
Sandler: "ok, thatâ€™s up to you."
"three weeks later!"
[chanting repeatedly] "the night time is the right time! the night time is the right time!"
Sandler: "hey buddy, are you glad you did this? "
Allen: "oh, this is the best thing I ever did. thank you."
Sandler: "youâ€™re not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are you? "
Allen: "you know, itâ€™s like they said. it was the only way to save him."
Sandler: "youâ€™re a good guy."
Allen: "youâ€™re a better one."
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