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Contestant #1 I believe first impressions last forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parents house and have dinner with me and my family tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick?
Let's see...hmm..Well I'd have to think about. I might show up in a tux...HA but I doubt. I'd probably just show up naked like I always do. And look your mamma in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! Hurry up bitch I'm hungry. I smell spaghetti. I'd venture you'd be askin. Tell her "Get the food ready!" Your dad would probaly start trippin and get me pissed, I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips. It's dinner time. We're hearing grace from your mother. I pull the forty out and pour some for your little brother. In stead I'm starin at your little sister. I'll tell ya this. Ya know for only thirteen she's got some big tits. After that your dad'll try to jump again and only this time I'd put the forty to his chin. After your mom does the dishes and the silverware I try to fuck her till I nut in my underwear.
Now let's meet contestant number 2. He's a pyscopathic, duranged crack head freak, who works for the "Dark Carnival." He says women call him stretch nuts. Sharron let's hear your question.
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who expresses himself in his own special way. Number 2 if you fell in love with me exactally how would you let me know?
First thing. I could never love you. You sound like a witchy bitch. YO FUCK YOU! But if I did I'd probably show you that I care by taking all these other muthafuckas outa here. I'll go through you phone book and whack 'em all. And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw.(What?!?) Anyone who look at ya would have to pay. I'd be bustin fuckin nuggets off all day. I grab your tities and stretch em down passed your waste, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face. I sing love songs to ya. The best I can . Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman.... Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand. I throw a little in your face and say "I'm just playin." As you spit it all out I rub your back and grab your underwear and wedge it up in your ass crack.
Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just over flowing with sensitivity Sharron. It's a tough choice so far. Sharron let's have your last question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your neb...
OK. If we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time. Tell me, how you each get my attention and what would your pick up lines be. Who's ever the smoothest wins.
Ok. First. I'd s-s-slide up to the bar. And,tell you that i can't believe how fucking fat you are. I'd tell you that I like the way you make your tities shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake.
FUCK THAT! You'd be dockin me quick. I'd order you a drink, and stir it wit my dick. And then to get, your attention in the crowded place I simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face.
YA! Freak her wit your nuts yo that'll get her.
Tell her that she's fat. YA that'll work even better.
Look FUCK YOU! I gotta strong rat. Shit. You don't want contestant number 2. He's mad whack. I walk into a bar and there he was, standin up on a bucket, agagag,tryin to fuck it. It was a big fuckin smelly ass farm llama.
DAM DAWG!! How you gonna dis yo mamma?
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