I am a pretty little dutch girl
As pretty as pretty can be
And all the boys around my block
Are crazy over me
I was walkin down the street, lookin at boobs, asses, faces
Went in the salvation army for some used glasses cases
Next to the doooorway
The cashier catch me, held up an old map of Norway
She flipped it over, and the message read 'You're gay'
I looked at her anxiously
Two lip rings looked like fangs to me
I said, "Hope my sperm will get under your thermal
Underwear, because you're cuter than Nermal"
She said, "Go get a haircut"
So I showed her my bare butt
Pulled down my car hearts put my moon in her star-charts
And to make stupid stupider, I stuffed the ring up my ass
Said, "Now my moon's Jupiter"
She has a boyfriend Fatty
He comes from Cincinnati
With 48 toes and a pickle on his nose
And this is the way the story goes
Clickity clack, he's at the rack with the jackets
It's Black Italiano, lookin black cuz he's backlit
"Ay, what's up with these fuckin Chinese lookin street gang jackets?"
We started to slowdance
I said, "No chance for romance
If I have to wear condoms cuz they feel like snow pants"
But I couldn't stay calm, because she revealed a bra
Made of two yamakas, I said, "You're hella great!"
We took the freight elevate-
Er to continue our back-and-forth shaggin sports
In the room with the davenports where men become cuckolds
I felt her knuckle above my belt buckle
One day when she was walking
She heard her boyfriend talking
To a little girl with a strawberry curl
And this is what he said to her
My pissed off Jabrowski
Turned three colors like Christov Krislowski
And said, "A handjob's a man's job, your job's a blowjob"
That porn snob
That corn cob with a doorknob is a born slob ?????
Every penis wants to be famous
It's a good way to stay misogynistic and aimless
She said, "I'm glad you explained that
My name is Jane Pratt, before you jerk off on my head please pass me that rain hat"
So I did, you know
What can I say?
I'm a lonely male who will settle for any phony in a ponytail
[another guy's voice]
Bring your woman over here so I can show her a real Italian man
I got the best of both fuckin worlds here
Fuckin black man's dick, and an Italian man's brain
Hehehee, FUCKIN ASSHOLE