Everybody Loves a Nut Album

Artist(s): Johnny Cash

Cover Art

Johnny Cash Everybody Loves a Nut Cover Art

Tracklist

Everybody Loves a Nut

length: 2:04
writer: Jack Clement

Everybody loves a nut
The whole world loves a weirdo
Brains are in a rut
But everybody loves a nut

There was a hermit named Fred
Who kept the dead horse in his cave
And everyone said to Fred
"Fred, how come you keep a dead horse
In your cave?", and he said, "Well"

(Everybody loves a nut)
(The whole world loves a weirdo)
Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut
A Columbia man named Frank
Had a tiger named Hank

He tried to put Hank in his tank
Guess what happened to ol' Frank
When they picked up the teets there and eyeballs
And erected a tombstone that read

(Everybody loves a nut)
Another Columbia fella told queen Isabella
I don't think the world is flat
And now what do you think about that

And she said
"You don't", and he said, "No mam"
And she said
"He'd get out of my queendom"
And he said, "Yes mam"

(Everybody loves a nut)
Everybody loves a nut

The One on the Right Is on the Left

length: 2:48
producer: Frank Jones and Don Law
writer: Jack Clement, Jack Clement
There once was a musical troupe
A pickin' singin' folk group
They sang the mountain ballads
And the folk songs of our land

They were long on musical ability
Folks thought they would go far
But political incompatibility led to their downfall

Well, the one on the right was on the left
And the one in the middle was on the right
And the one on the left was in the middle
And the guy in the rear was a Methodist

This musical aggregation toured the entire nation
Singing the traditional ballads
And the folk songs of our land
They performed with great virtuosity
And soon they were the rage
But political animosity prevailed upon the stage

Well, the one on the right was on the left
And the one in the middle was on the right
And the one on the left was in the middle
And the guy in the rear burned his driver's license

Well the curtain had ascended
A hush fell on the crowd
As thousands there were gathered to hear The folk songs of our land
But they took their politics seriously
And that night at the concert hall
As the audience watched deliriously
They had a free-for-all

Well, the one on the right was on the bottom
And the one in the middle was on the top
And the one on the left got a broken arm
And the guy in the rear, said, "Oh dear"

Now this should be a lesson if you plan to start a folk group
Don't go mixin' politics with the folk songs of our land
Just work on harmony and diction
Play your banjo well
And if you have political convictions keep them to yourself

Now, the one on the left works in a bank
And the one in the middle drives a truck
The one on the right's an all-night deejay
And the guy in the rear got drafted

Cup of Coffee

length: 4:37
composer: Ramblin’ Jack Elliott

[Verse]
Man it sure is good to hear you singing and yodeling and picking again Jack Elliot
I been driving hauling load of grain all day long
Got about three more hundred miles to go
And well I just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Yeah I just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Don't you offer me none of that whiskey don't need no wine
Gotta get that semi down the line
Sure good to see you again Jack been a long time now
How's Flo you still married to old Flo ain't you ha ha ha
Well just coffee thank you thank you very much
Whoa whoa well well it will cool it down a little bit what is it man
Doyou make it yourself I like to hear you yodel
Just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Sound good on that man that's the best part right there hope we ain't waking up Flo
Hey Flo old Flo she's a good 'un boy no I didn't mean nothing
I just you know I knew Flo a long time ago we went to school together you know
Well I just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Yeah dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
In don't in the glass you gonna pour it in the glass whoa whoa whoa that's enough
Man put ice in and it's going to run over whoa whoa
Man you got it all over the tablecloth making that stuff yourself
If that's what makes you yodel it's good to me
Just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Don't give me none of your liquor I don't want no wine
Gotta get that semi down the line I got to haul a load of grain
Bout three hundred more miles I gotta get up and get out of here
If I can just find my cat my hat get outa here cat darn cat
No that's alright I can make it I can make it
I can make it alright mama say I can make it leave me alone
Whoa stepped right in her flowerbed oh she going raise cain tomorrow
Where's my truck at because I thought I had it cross the street
Or on this side of the street alright you got an extra room
She won't mind okay you sure now put the blanket down around my feet
Get me up by six o'clock brcause I don't want Flo catch me sleepin' in here
Boy she can flat raise your nose ha ha just let my arms hang loose
Warm as I can be I wants just to get me up about eight o'clock
And I'll have a cup of coffee because you know Flo too
Yeah just dropped in to have a cup of coffee friend
Jack yodel for me one more time fore I go to sleep

[Outro]
I sure like to hear you yodel Jack Elliot

The Bug That Tried to Crawl Around the World

length: 2:54
writer: Johnny Cash
Now you've heard of folks with a lot of ambition
But I believe just about the biggest case of ambition I ever saw
Was in a bug that I saw crawlin' along the beach one day
He was a mighty ambitious bug
On the beach one early mornin' as a day was newly dawnin'
And the sun again was warmin' all the chill thru'out the land
I saw me a bug a walkin' and at first I thought he was quakin'
Then I found out he was talkin' while he crawled across the sand
He was crawlin' mighty straight at a slow but a steady gait
And when I asked him to wait he said oh come on crawl with me
But I said where you goin' and he said you'll be knowin'
For I'm gonna make a showin' and you'll someday see
Well I stood there by the ocean I suddenly had the notion
That I start this big promotion so this challenge I enfirled said the bug
So I gave my wife a hug and I left my confy rug
So I could be the only bug that ever crawled around the world
Well he seemed mighty small and it was a long way to crawl
And I'm sure he couldn't swim at all so I try to discourage my friend
I said you know the world is round and there's mighty lotta ground
And there some water to be found before you reach your journey's end
And he said now don't you fret there's problems to be met
But I'll make it you can bet and this deed will bring glory to my name
You know they said man would never fly now he's soarin' in the sky
Cause he had the will to try so let me win my fame
So he crawled on out of sight as he sought that splendoured height
Neither lookin' left nor right but slowly marchin' toward his goal
And my knowin' he had started on his journey as we parted
Kept me from feelin' too down hearted for he was a mighty ambitious soul
Well I've looked everywhere I've been and seen a lotta bugs since then
But not one quite like my little friend when I think of him I'm filled with pride
Did he make it I don't know he was crawlin' mighty slow and he had a long way to go
And all I can tell you folks is that he tried he sure was an ambitious bug

The Singing Star’s Queen

length: 2:55
writer: Jackson King, Bill Mack
Twinkle twinkle little star who's the greatest star what are (Waylon)
[ piano - ac.guitar ]
Now Waylon is a singer a record sellin' star the ladies love him and his band
Oh he sings like a bird and he plays a fine guitar
But I doubt that he's a home lovin' man
You oughta see his woman she's really a queen he buys her the finest of clothes
For you talk about beauties like none you ain't seen
When Waylon's gone she lets me know

When he's gone a singing I'm gone with his queen spreadin' his money around
But if you'll look for me and I can't be seen you'll know that Waylon's back in town
[ piano - ac.guitar ]
When Waylon's gone a singing I'm wearin' his suit I smoke his imported cigars
I like his woman wear out his boots I chauffeur his limousine cars
When he's making money he has to stay gone but if you should hear that he's around
Go buy his latest record or go see his show help me keep ol' Waylon out of town

When Waylon's out singing I'm gone with his queen...

Starkle starkle little twink Waylon's the greatest star I think
Bring him to your town join his fan club the journal you get the journal every year
A dollar is about all is costs don't you dare miss it come see Waylon

Austin Prison

length: 2:10
writer: Johnny Cash
They had a warrant out for me all over the country
And I was trying to beat the raps in Idaho
I was breaking into a schoolhouse Sunday morning without warning
When I saw the sheriff coming for me slow from down below

His steel gray eyes were blazing when he saw me
His hand was on his gun when he rode up
He said you killed that woman I know you shot her why'd you do it
I'm taking you to Austin then I'm gonna lock you up

Well he tied me with a plow line the next morning
And he had me deep in Texas the next day
A crazy screaming lynch mob waited in the streets of Austin
But he put me in the jailhouse and he threw the key away

A jury found me guilty three months later twelve evil men with murder in their eyes
They even took me out and said now show us where you killed her
And that wicked judge said now I here by sentence you to die
But here I am far away from Austin prison my friend the jailer handed me a file
Now all I want between me and there are a lot of friendly people
And miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles

Dirty Old Egg Sucking Dog

length: 2:05
composer: Jack Clement
lyricist: Jack Clement
Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog

Egg-suckin' dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

Now if he don't stop eatin' my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm gonna get my riffle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky

Egg-suckin' dog
Your always hangin' around
But you'd better stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound

Take Me Home

length: 2:37
writer: Jack Clement, Allen Reynolds
Well, I've been from Boston to L.A.
Seen Boulder Dam and Frisco Bay
I seen New York City and Washington

Seen Montreal and Saskatchewan and Rhode Island
And I've worked in three all night
Service stations and I drove a truck

Take me home, my heart is heavy and my feet are sore
Take me home, I don't wanna roam no more

Well, I slept all night in a water trough
Had the flu and the croup and the whoopin' cough
Had the mumps and the measles and the seven years itch

And I can't count the times
That I've had a cold and a sore throat
Not to mention all the times
That I cut my fingers on a sardine can

Take me home, my heart is heavy

Well, I can just see 'em all now just a gatherin' 'round
Mama's supper table when the sun goes down
And my good old pappy when the blessing is said

Fillin' up his plate with black eyed peas
And all that stuff and side meat
And a great big hunk of my dear sweet mama's
Hot buttered cornbread

Take me home, my heart is heavy
Take me home, my heart is heavy

Please Don’t Play Red River Valley

length: 2:51
writer: Johnny Cash
Well I see you got yourself a brand new harmonica
Mail ordered from the Steagal's catalogue
Boy I hope you can learn to play it like Lonnie Glossom
And while you added you to oughta learn a verse or two
Of Red River Valley Oh My Darling Clementine or Salty Dog
Oh but please don't play Red River Valley
And how about Polly Wolly doodle all day and see
You know the only song I ever learned to play on my 2 dollar and 98 cent harmonica
That I got from Wayne Raney in Clint Texas
C-L-I-N-T Clint Texas was Red River Valley
Then she said farewell to my french harp and me

Well I see you're doin' pretty good on your new harmonica
But don't you think you oughta learn about one more tune you know
See you hold it like you's gonna eat a handful of popcorn
And sometime you suck in and sometimes you blow
But friend now please don't play Red River Valley
And how about Polly Wolly doodle all day
Like I said the only song I ever learnd
On my 2 dollar and 98 cent harmonica that I got from Clint Texas
From Wayne Raney in Clint Texas was Red River Valley
Oh then she said farewell to my french harp and me

Boa Constrictor

length: 1:44
lyricist: Shel Silverstein
composer: Shel Silverstein
I'm getting swallowed by a Boa Constrictor
By a Boa Constrictor by a Boa Constrictor
I'm getting swallowed by a Boa Constrictor and I don't like snakes one bit
What do you know he's swallowed my toe oh gee he's up to my knee
Oh my he's up to my thigh oh yummy he's up to my tummy
Oh fiddle he's up to my middle oh glum he's mashing my lungs
Now look here snake I don't look good with this long tail on me
It's all about I can say sneak except give me a break sneak
My torso's cold and it's startin' to mould Boa Constrictor how much can you hold
Oh yes he's up to my chest oh heck he's up to my neck
Nearly all in he's up to my chin oh dread he's swallowed my excuse me

Joe Bean

length: 3:09
composer: Bud Freeman, Leon Pober
lyricist: Bud Freeman, Leon Pober
Last time we were here at Folsom Prison, they were hanging Joe Bean. Is Joe still here...Joe Bean? Hang the son of a bitch anyways, right?

Well, they're hanging Joe Bean this morning, for killing a man in Arkansas. Funny thing about it, Joe Bean has never been to Arkansas. On top of that, Joe Bean never heard of the man. In fact, today is Joe Bean's twentieth birthday.

See through the prison bars, Joe Bean, see where the gallows stand. Just twenty short years from the day you were born, you died by the hangman's hand.

Yes, they're hanging Joe Bean this morning, for a shooting that he never did. He killed 20 men, by the time he was 10, he was an unruly kid.

Yes, they're hanging Joe Bean for the one shooting that Joe Bean never did.

Well, Joe - your mother is at the Capitol, asking the governor for a stay. And it's hard on her, 'cause she knows where you were, on that particular day. You were working Joe Bean, hard working, robbing the Santa Fe.

Well, the telegraph wires are humming. Here, the governor's words come through. He said, "I can't set you free, it's not up to me, but there's much, Joe Bean, I'll do. I'll join your mother in extending Birthday greetings to you. Happy Birthday, Joe Bean."