Goddess in Progress Album

Artist(s): Julie Brown

Cover Art

Julie Brown Goddess in Progress Cover Art

Tracklist

I Like ’em Big & Stupid

length: 2:44

Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun

length: 4:46
Hooooo - It was homecoming night at my high school
Hooooo - Everyone was there, it was totally cool
Hooooo - I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans
Hooooo - 'Cause my best friend Debbie was homecoming queen
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon, chiffon
Riding the float with her tiara on, tiara on
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand, bouquet
She looked straight out of Disneyland

You know, like the Cinderella ride, I mean definitely an E ticket, E
ticket
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked, was stoked
I mean it was like the whole school was totally c**ed or something
The band was playing Evergreen
And all of a sudden somebody screamed

Look out! The homecoming queen's got a gun!

{Refrain}
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun

Debbie's smiling and waving her gun
Picking off cheerleaders one by one
Oh Buffie's pompom just blew to bits
Oh no, Mitzie's head just did the splits
God, my best friend's on a shooting spree
Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me
How could you do what you just did
Are you having a really bad period
{Refrain}

Stop Debbie, you're making a mess
Powder burns all over your dress

An hour later the cops arrived
By then the entire glee club had died, no big loss
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her
Tear gas, machine guns, even a chopper
"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of the float"
Debbie didn't listen to what the cop said
She aimed and fired and now the math teacher's dead
Oh it's really sad but kind of a relief
I mean, we had this big test coming up next week
{Refrain}

Debbie's really having a blast
She's wasting half of the class

The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float
I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat
She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic
But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my Instamatic
I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out
What made her do it, why'd she freak out
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear
I knew then the end was near

So I ran down and I said, in her good ear, "Debbie, why'd you do it?" She raised her head, smiled, and said "I - I did it for Johnny." Johnny? Well like who's Johnny? Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny? Does anybody here know Johnny? Are you Johnny? There was one guy named Johnny but he was a total geek, he always had food in his braces. Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny? Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane you know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled? But we'll never know who Johnny was because like she's dead.

Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a
Everybody run
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a

Will I Make It Through the Eighties

length: 2:47

Time to get up, but I can't move
What did I do last night
Am I home, are these my clothes
I hope my car's alright

At least it's Sunday—no, it's Monday
I better call in dead
Well, I might get by, but I'm so burnt
I can't get out of bed

Will I make it through the eighties
I-I-I don't know
Will I make it through the eighties
A-tumbling like a domino
Will I make it through the eighties
Hope so

Thirty-two steps from here to downstairs
I step on a cat, trip over a chair
Nothing in the fridge, nothing on TV
Well, Sylvia Plath's got nothing on me

Dig through the ashtrays, and light up a butt
Sitting here looking like I don't know what
Bit off more than my mind could chew
Shower or suicide, what do I do

Will I make it through the eighties
I-I-I don't know
Will I make it through the eighties
A-tumbling like a domino
Will I make it through the eighties
Hope so

Time to grow up, start living right
Stop sleeping all day, playing all night
Enough is enough, gonna do it or die
Is that the phone ringing—"Oh, Steve honey, hi
A concert tonight—yeah, that sounds great
But I burned myself out, I can't stay out that late
No, I mean it this time, I'm taking it slow
Got a backstage pass—alright, let's go"

Will I make it through the eighties
I-I-I don't know
Will I make it through the eighties
A-tumbling like a domino
Will I make it through the eighties
Wind me up and watch me go
Will I make it through the eighties
Hope so

’Cause I’m a Blond

length: 2:19
Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think.
I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks.
Don't have to worry 'bout getting a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these cans,
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see people workin, it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work; I just have to jiggle.
I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D.
I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?

I never learned to read, and I never learned to cook.
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me,
But I have this philosophy:
So what?
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see girls without dates, and I feel so sorry for 'em,
'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em,
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah.
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah.

They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition.
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:
Umm ... okay ... what was it? ... umm ...
Don't tell me ... Oh, yeah, okay.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I took an IQ test, and I flunked it of course.
I can't spell VW, but I gotta Porsche,
'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-I-N-D.
'Cause I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?

[spoken]
I just want to say that being chosen this month's Miss August
Is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can.
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA,
But, my goal is to become a veterinarian 'cause I love children!

'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause were a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true.
With my hair and body, you would be too.
I'm a blonde, B-L- ... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Earth Girls Are Easy

length: 4:52
Is it true what they say about Julie?
There she is, let's ask her.
Julie, did you really go out with an alien?
Uh huh
What was it like?
Real different
By the way, where'd you meet him?

I was nude sunbathing on my patio, and he was checking me out from his UFO
Guess he couldn't take it 'cause he lost his cool, crash landed in my
swimming pool
ooh neat

So he beams over too he starts licking his lips, stroking his antenna and
wiggling his hips
I'm no Albert Einstein but I'm not that dumb, I know lust no matter what
planet it's from

He said earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please
me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)

Was he cute?
No way, definitely uncute

Total grossarama, slick as a slug, with a shake-and-bake complexion and
eyes like a bug
Wavy on weird I wanted outta there quick, he was a cross between Flipper
and Alan Thick
Ooh

I ran in the house, I locked every lock, I was not gonna party with some
horny little Spock
All of a sudden I screamed in horror, he was groping my leg through the
doggy door

Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)
I can't go on.
What happened next is just too personal to put in a pop song.
If it's that bad, you have to.
Promise you won't tell?
Uh huh

His touch was a love drug, I had to have more, the next thing I knew I had
opened the door
Come in space monkey kiss me here, kiss me there, he's still disgusting but
I didn't care

Give us more details
Oh how do I describe it.
Well you know how a blender has 12 speeds?
Well when he got up to puree I thought I would die.
But when he put it on liquefy, I wanted his baby.
Ohhhhh. Oh yes, yes.
Is that your tongue.
One of them
That sure is a big piece of machinery you've got
I made it myself
Oh you space stud, you
There's no ride like this at Disneyland, baby.
Oh synchronize, synchronize, I'm docking Ohhhhhhh.
And to think we did all that without even touching.

Slow:
Now I'm back to my senses and he's light years away, if he's listening in
space I have something to say
I took the lock off the doggie door, so come back moon doggie when you're
ready for more

Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please me
Earth girls, earth girls are (sleazey)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, earth girls are (very easy)
Earth girls, earth girls are easy, earth girls, know how to please me
Earth girls, earth girls are (easy)