Who Sang Sirens? Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey The Ultimate Collection... Ever! cover art
Release information
Release Date: 2005-7-22
length: 2:24

Everything about European life suggests a much more laid-back lifestyle, even things like sirens. You know, here our sirens are very functional

[British two-tone siren plays]

It sort of says “Come-On Come-On Outthe-Way Outthe-Way. Whataremy-jobsworth.”

[British two-tone siren plays, descending in note at the end]

Which to me denotes disappointment

[British two-tone siren plays, descending in note at the end]

Interestingly, you never hear them go the other way do you?

[British two-tone siren plays, ascending in note at the end]

They never do that, do they?

“Here he comes, look, oh there he goes up!”
[British two-tone siren plays, ascending in note at the end]

Because that would be defying the laws of physics, wouldn’t it? That would be an ambulance attending an emergency in another dimension

[British two-tone siren plays, ascending in note at the end at holding said note as sci-fi effects play]
[Bailey speaks alien gibberish]

Here, very functional
[British two-tone siren plays]

European sirens, lot more lyrical, aren’t they?
[Four-tone “European siren” plays] x2

It’s like: “Yes, there is an accident, but let’s enjoy the ride.”

[Four-tone “European siren” plays]

In fact the French ones are like this: [Snippet of French-sounding accordion music plays]

That’s just the bit you hear as it goes past, if you listen to it all down the street, it’s like this:

[Instrumental long-winded French-sounding accordion music plays]

[Verse (Singing)]
Nous sommes blessés!
Nous avons un homme
Il s’appelle Jean-Michel
Sa jambe est cassé
Avec une jeune fille
Elle s’appelle Gisèle
(C’est si belle.)
Ils ont montés dans un arbre
Pour faire l’amour
Il a adopté la position misionnaire
(C’est populaire.)
Il est tombé
Sa jambe est cassé

CD 1
  • 1 Insect Nation
  • 2 Gwydion & the Druid, Chapter 1
  • 3 Richard Clayderman plays Three Blind Mice
  • 4 Unisex Chip Shop (tribute to Billy Bragg)
  • 5 Scooby Doo
  • 6 Sirens
  • 7 Jean-Michel Jarre
  • 8 Hats Off to the Zebras
  • 9 Phillip Glass plays Pop Goes the Weasel
  • 10 Foxhunting
  • 11 Tom Waits plays Three Blind Mice
  • 12 Leg of Time
  • 13 Classical Cockney
  • 14 Chaucer Pubbe Gagge
  • 15 Medieval Porn
  • 16 Gwydion & The Druid, Chapter 2
  • 17 Dr. Qui
  • 18 Cockney Medley
  • 19 Beautiful Ladies (In Honour of Chris De Burgh)
  • 20 Gwydion & The Druid, Chapter 47
  • 21 Drum 'n' Bush