Who Sang Long Distance Daddy? MacLean & MacLean

Release information
length: 5:19
producer: MacLean & MacLean
Lyrics
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk w**** for a wife
Spoken:
Well I jumped in my pick up and I drove to the fridge and I got myself a beer. Then took a drive to Sonny's room, he's the border...Guy who lives in the back. There was my wife washing Sonny's face like I never seen it washed before, i said,"..the f***'s goin' on? Spell it out for me!" She said, "I'm Sonny's little honky-tonk w****." So, I kicked his B-A-Double L-S and said, "f*****' spell that!" Sonny C-R-Y, ha. I said, "Don't ever let me catch you hangin' around Kitty's P-U-Double S-Y." She said, "TAKE YOUR P-R-I-C-K AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A-S-S!!!" I Said, "F-U-C-K-O-F-F!!" I jumped in my pick up and I left!!

I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk w**** for a wife
Spoken:
It's like ah, you know like..ah, I left that f*****' scene, I thought it was really weird, you know. She was f*****' around on me, right? b****. And then like, 3 weeks... 3 weeks and the f*****' hom.. I'm on the road, right. I'm on the road 'bout 3 weeks in the f*****' h***side, right? Last night, I got off the stage in Nashville, I'm standing by the door, right? And I walk over and said, ah, I said "Can we get payed?" And he turned around and he said, "You a******* came off 20 minutes early, I'm docking you 20 bucks!" 20 f*****' bucks man, Jesus H. Christ thats my fulcrum margin, I near f*****' killed him! And I grabbed him by the arm to turn him around and these Goons he had in the f*****' door, they leaped me, right? Next think I know, I'm laying in the f*****' alley, My ax is broken, some p***** ran off with my f*****' Timex and leaving me with no f*****' insurance. The stage... you know the white pants I wear? Dog s*** down one f*****' leg, they were f***** , right? Those f*****' dogs! So, I went back to my pick up right! A f*****' parking ticket for 20 f*****' dollars on the f*****' windshield!! Those f*****' cops!! SO I DRIVE BACK TO THE MOTEL TO THIS f*****' HOLE I HAD TO LIVE IN FOR 20 f*****' DOLLARS A NIGHT WHERE SOME GUY'S p***** ON THE BEDSPREAD RIGHT! AND f*****' LEECHES!!! AND I TURN ON THE f*****' T.V., WHO'S ON ONE f*****' CHANNEL, LOUSY BLACK AND WHITE...EARNEST f*****' AINSLEY!!!! "YEAH!! CURE THIS,"I SAID, "AND I'LL CURE YOUR f*****' a***HOLE!!! AND I GRABBED MY CROTCH RIGHT!! THEN I HAD A HARD-ON SO I HAD TO GO TO THE f*****' WASHROOM AND BEAT IT OFF, I WAS BEATIN' AND JACKIN' AND YOU KNOW WHAT!!! I COULDN'T f*****' c**!! I SAID "YOU f*****' p**** EVEN YOU WON'T GIVE ME ANY f*****' PLEASURE, RIGHT!!" AND I GO BACK AND I TRIED TO PHONE THE KIDS, EH! AND MY WIFE TO PATCH THINGS UP!!! f*****' KID ANSWERED, CALLED ME A c*** AND HUNG UP!!! I SAID, "YOU f*****' KIDS!!!" BUT EVERYONE'S A c***... THIS LOUSY f*****' PLANET!!

I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk w**** for a wife
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk w**** for a wife

And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk w**** for a wife

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