Who Sang Number One? Ookla the Mok

Ookla the Mok Less Than Art cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1997
length: 4:24
Some other versions of "Number One"

Lyrics

[Intro:]
I am a gambler
I am Fortune's son
I am the first mate
Of the NCC-1701D

Well I had an encounter at Farpoint Station
With a little touch of constipation
While I was waiting to come aboard and meet my crew
But when the captain arrived I got this feeling inside
That there was something that I needed to do
And it's true
When I got to my quarters there was something missing
I didn't have a pot to piss in
But I was too proud to ask an ensign where to go
And so I flashed with a smile and held it in for awhile
And tried not to let it show
But you know
("Make it so.")

CHORUS:
I asked the ship's computer, I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise
I've been here seven days, and I can't wait anymore
Pretty soon I'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before

I can't sit down, I'm in some condition
How'd Kirk survive on a five year mission?
This new assignment is getting harder to endure
Cause I ain't feeling so great and I'm putting on lots of weight
I couldn't make it through a three hour tour
That's for sure
And now I've gained twenty pounds and I grew a beard
How could I shave without a bathroom mirror?
If I don't get some relief I'm gonna split my skin
Cause I'm as round as a globe and if I don't launch a probe
Soon I'll weigh enough to be my own twin
My transporter twin
("He's dead, Jim!")

CHORUS

FINAL CHORUS:
I asked the ship's computer, I checked the technical guide
But there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise
I've been here seven years, and I can't wait anymore
Pretty soon I'm gonna boldly go where no one's ever gone before

[Outtro:]
I am a gambler
I am Fortune's son
I am the first mate
Of the NCC-1701D


Tracklist
  • 1 Number One
  • 2 Arthur Curry
  • 3 Dollar Fifty Movies
  • 4 AGeD
  • 5 View Master
  • 6 Still Can't Buy Me Love
  • 7 Haydn Seek
  • 8 Murder She Wrote
  • 9 Home
  • 10 Bride of Wolfman
  • 11 Tiberius Rising
  • 12 Fly

  • Release information
    country(area): United States
    script: Latin