Who Sang Apprentice Dentist? The Macc Lads

The Macc Lads The Beer Necessities cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1990
Genre: Rock
Style: Punk/Pub Rock
length: 2:02
producer: Bald Eagle
engineer: Bald Eagle
lead vocals: Muttley McLad
background vocals: Stez Styx and The Beater
bass: Muttley McLad
guitar: The Beater
drums (drum set): Stez Styx
composer: Tristran O’Neill, Geoffrey Conning, Steven Hatton
lyricist: Tristran O’Neill
Working at the dentist,
Community service,
Trying to fix the lighting,
And undercoat the door.

She ran down the road,
Her teeshirt was bouncing,
Looked like two rabbits fighting,
She never wore support.

Said she had a toothache,
Had to see a dentist,
'Go and take your clothes off,
Now then, open wide.

Looks like you need a filling,
I'll have to do some drilling',
She wasn't very willing,
She wouldn't part her thighs.

Her orifice,
Stank of p___,
I bent to kiss her c___oris,
It smelled of fish,
Around her lips,
Were scabby bits,
She had nice t__s,
I'll get her p___ed,
She won't resist.

I had to get her paralytic,
Got out the antiseptic,
And the anaesthetic,
And held it on her nose.

I had to get inside her,
'I think its an incisor',
Dribbling saliva,
I gave her a dose.

'Your gum's got an infection,
You'll need a quick injection,
I'll use my large erection',
She gobbled down my beef.

The nosh was eighteen carat,
I pushed against her palate,
She sucked my mutton mallet,
Got pearl drops on her teeth.

'I'm sorry miss,
But here's the twist,
I'm here to help put up some shelves,
I'm no dentist,
But go next door,
The second floor,
Its the sperm bank, they'll pay a grand for what's in your jaw'.

©1990 The Macc Lads

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Tracklist
CD 1
  • 1 Alcohol
  • 2 Germans
  • 3 Fellatio Nelson
  • 4 Desperate Dan
  • 5 Grease Stop
  • 6 Apprentice Dentist
  • 7 Man in the Boat
  • 8 Newcy Brown
  • 9 McCavity
  • 10 Chester Zoo
  • 11 Naughty Boy
  • 12 Mister Methane
  • 13 More Tea Vicar?
  • 14 Two Stroke Eddie
  • 15 Animal Testing
  • 16 Don’t Fear the Sweeper
  • 17 Poodles