Who Sang Desperate Dan? The Macc Lads

The Macc Lads The Beer Necessities cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1990
Genre: Rock
Style: Punk/Pub Rock
length: 3:44
producer: Bald Eagle
engineer: Bald Eagle
lead vocals: Muttley McLad
background vocals: Stez Styx and The Beater
bass: Muttley McLad
guitar: The Beater
drums (drum set): Stez Styx
composer: Tristran O’Neill, Geoffrey Conning, Steven Hatton
lyricist: Tristran O’Neill
The big fat chud wobbled home one night,
Singing: 'Woah, Maccy Maccy' After twenty eight pints.
Has a bit of trouble getting the key in the door,
His belly dragged him downwards and his face hit the floor.

Spilt curry down his shirt,
Soaked through to the vest,
p___es in his jeans as he tries to undress,
Trousers round his ankles, he bangs into the wall,
Decides to have a p___ in the cutlery drawer.

Then he starts to vomit,
On the telly by the door,
She must have been to Comet,
Coz that c___ wasn't there before.

He pukes and he pukes,
But there's no stopping,
New picture on the stairs,
The old bag's been shopping.

He spews and he spews then its time to relax,
He props himself up on the edge of the bath,
One last puke strains his whole body,
Out of his a___ plops a vindaloo jobby.

Bile out the front end,
b__-sick out the back,
Vomit in the toilet,
Diarrhoea all over the bath.

Then his b___ock hits the hot tap,
And his chubby legs collapse,
His jeans are round his ankles,
The big fat b______ falls backwards into the bath.

His arms and legs are waving,
They're flapping like f___,
But the s___'s sealed him in,
And the fat c___'s stuck.

He flounders in the tub,
But he's a perfect fit,
t___s down his back,
His front's borted in sick.

He grabs at the taps to pull himself clear,
But he hasn't got a clue about the trouble at the rear,
He crawls into bed, covered in s___e,
And tries to cuddle up to his extremely fat and ugly wife.

She hits him with a small brush,
He's landed on the floor,
She says: 'You smelly fat walrus,
You live at number 24.'

Desperate Dan,
Desperate Dan.

©1990 The Macc Lads


CD 1
  • 1 Alcohol
  • 2 Germans
  • 3 Fellatio Nelson
  • 4 Desperate Dan
  • 5 Grease Stop
  • 6 Apprentice Dentist
  • 7 Man in the Boat
  • 8 Newcy Brown
  • 9 McCavity
  • 10 Chester Zoo
  • 11 Naughty Boy
  • 12 Mister Methane
  • 13 More Tea Vicar?
  • 14 Two Stroke Eddie
  • 15 Animal Testing
  • 16 Don’t Fear the Sweeper
  • 17 Poodles