Who Sang Failure With Girls? The Macc Lads

The Macc Lads Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1985
length: 3:31
producer: Bald Eagle
lead vocals: Muttley McLad
vocal: The Beater and Stez Styx
engineer: Bald Eagle
bass: Muttley McLad
guitar: The Beater
drums (drum set): Stez Styx
composer: Tristran O’Neill, Geoffrey Conning, Steven Hatton
lyricist: Tristran O’Neill
I've got an ugly face,
With spots all over the place,
I haven't got any mates,
And me clothes have gone out of date.
I go to the pub on me own,
And I drink me orange alone,
I sit and stare at the crack,
But they just turn their backs.
I want to chat them up,
But I stare at me feet,
And then I go home and I beat me meat.
I'm dead shy about the size of me ****,
And chips and gravy make me sick.
I'm a failure with girls,
I don't know why,
He's a failure with girls,
He don't know why.
I'm a failure with girls,
They're so unkind,
He's a failure with girls,
They're so unkind.
I'm a failure with girls,
They make me cry,
He's a failure with girls,
They make him cry.
Only wish I could say that I don't mind.
A Macc Lad of me took note,
And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat,
It were the first pint I ever had,
And I changed to a real Macc Lad.
Me clothes started looking real flash,
I got a tattoo and a moustache,
And me car got a go-faster stripe,
And now I pull crack every night.
And I'm not weak anymore,
'cause me **** measures three foot four,
So don't you call me wimp,
'cause it's three foot four even when it's limp.
I'm dead macho with girls,
I never fail,
He's dead macho with girls,
He nevers fails.
I'm dead macho with girls
'cause I sup ale,
He's dead macho with girls
'cause he sups ale.
I'm dead macho with girls
Thanks to Willies,
He's dead macho with girls
Thanks to Willies.
Only wish I didn't have VD...

Tracklist
12" Vinyl 1
  • 1 The Lads From Macc
  • 2 Beer & Sex & Chips ’n’ Gravy
  • 3 Boddies
  • 4 Sweaty Betty
  • 5 England′s Glory
  • 6 Blackpool
  • 7 Miss Macclesfield
  • 8 God’s Gift to Women
  • 9 Get Weavin’
  • 10 Now He’s a Poof
  • 11 Nagasaki Sauce
  • 12 Saturday Night
  • 13 Buenos Aires
  • 14 Charlotte
  • 15 Failure With Girls
  • 16 Do You Love Me?
  • 17 Dan’s Underpant
  • 18 Twenty Pints
  • 19 The Macc Lads Party