Germans Lyrics - The Macc Lads

The Macc Lads The Beer Necessities cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1990
Genre: Rock
Style: Punk/Pub Rock
length: 2:26
producer: Bald Eagle
engineer: Bald Eagle
lead vocals: Muttley McLad
background vocals: Stez Styx and The Beater
bass: Muttley McLad
guitar: The Beater
drums (drum set): Stez Styx
composer: Tristran O’Neill, Geoffrey Conning, Steven Hatton
lyricist: Tristran O’Neill
Sitting on the bog in foreign parts, looking round for anything to wipe my a___,
There's a second hand curry splattered round the rim,
And red and black scrapings from an Arab's foreskin,
You can't drink the water, you've got to boil it,
All the women smell of Egyptian toilets,
There's a s___ty clogged-up copper pipe sticking out of the bowl,
Hosepipes, flies, foreign smells, no f___ing toilet roll.

It was a cheap package holiday with a guarantee-
You'll pass nothing solid 'til you're back in Macclesfield,
They warned me not to eat the food, and everything's in litres,
But they didn't expect to find a million sausage eaters,
Squareheads in the pubs, Erics on the streets,
Krauts in the bars, Jerries on the beach,
Got to do something fast to clear away this s___,
I'll have to wipe my bottom on a passing Fritz.

Oi! Adolf! Shut your f___ing trap,
Take your Merc and p___ off back with your holiday schnapps (snaps),
Oi! Adolf! Stop pushing in the queue,
Try pushing into Poland and we'll beat you black and blue.

I'm an Englishman abroad and my ringpiece is a mess,
My foot's wedged against the door to keep out the S.S.
This foreign khasi stinks of daygo t___s that missed the bowl,
There's Huns outside, slapping thighs and wearing lederhosen.

I hope these German b______s have the runs as bad as me,
I'll fight them on the beaches to defend my lavatory,
I'm shouting: 'f___ off, Herman, who won the f___ing war?'
The f___ers pushed their gaspipes under my bog door.

Oi! Adolf! Nineteen sixty six!,
I provide the gas in here, f___ off back to Auschwitz,
Oi! Adolf! f___ off back to Belsen,
I'm not a yid, I'm on the bog, annex something else, son.
Oi! Adolf! You talking to me?
How come all you krauts can speak German fluently?
Oi! Adolf! Nineteen forty five!
Don't put that accent on for me,
Speak English or die.

Deutschland Deutschland,
f___ing b______s!

©1990 The Macc Lads


CD 1
  • 1 Alcohol
  • 2 Germans
  • 3 Fellatio Nelson
  • 4 Desperate Dan
  • 5 Grease Stop
  • 6 Apprentice Dentist
  • 7 Man in the Boat
  • 8 Newcy Brown
  • 9 McCavity
  • 10 Chester Zoo
  • 11 Naughty Boy
  • 12 Mister Methane
  • 13 More Tea Vicar?
  • 14 Two Stroke Eddie
  • 15 Animal Testing
  • 16 Don’t Fear the Sweeper
  • 17 Poodles