More Tea Vicar? Lyrics - The Macc Lads

The Macc Lads The Beer Necessities cover art
Release information
Release Date: 1990
Genre: Rock
Style: Punk/Pub Rock
length: 2:05
producer: Bald Eagle
engineer: Bald Eagle
lead vocals: Muttley McLad
background vocals: Stez Styx and The Beater
bass: Muttley McLad
guitar: The Beater
drums (drum set): Stez Styx
composer: Tristran O’Neill, Geoffrey Conning, Steven Hatton
lyricist: Tristran O’Neill
My bird rang up just the other day, she said,
"Get round fast, me folks have gone away,
They've booked two weeks in Torremolinos"
I was round in a flash with a rock hard p****.
Threw her down on her mum and dad's bed,
Skirt up, knickers off, legs well spread,
One second after I'd filled up her t***, she shouts,
"f*** pig and a***hole! Me mum and dad's back!"

Ran to the kitchen, pretend nowt's afoot,
Spic b******s on strike, airport shut,
"Yes, Reverand, no Reverand," polite chit-chat,
Then I saw a dribble and I heard a splat.

Glodge of s****s landed on the floor,
Left foot on the b******, while he chats about the war,
Another glob on the 'welcome' mat,
If I stretch my right leg, I'll get my foot on the t***,
(If you stretch your right leg you'll get your foot on the t***)
My bird leans over and quietly whispers,
"Nip upstairs and try and find me knickers."
"If they catch me up there, I'll get shot,
Besides, I can't move cos I'm stuck to the spot,
And keep your knees together, stop moving about,
There's all manner of gear dropping out of your clout."

"... And this band you're in, is it heavy metal?"
Christ almighty! She's over by the kettle!,
Drop of j***'s landed by the cooker,
Threw my jacket down and covered up the f*****,
If he missed that c***, the old git needs spectacles,
How much yoghurt can I keep in my t*******s?
(How much yoghurt can he keep in his t*******s?)
Sticky pattern on the lino getting bigger and bigger,
"Garden looks smashing, more tea vicar?"
"Now then son, you been s******* our Louise?,
There's one of her p***s stuck in your teeth,
And my f****** floor's covered in bladder adder snot,
May the Lord strike you down dead upon this spot!"
He slips in the slime and lands on his bot,
And I thought God would be a better shot.
(f****** hell Muttley that was bad)

©1990 The Macc Lads

Lyrics licensed by
CD 1
  • 1 Alcohol
  • 2 Germans
  • 3 Fellatio Nelson
  • 4 Desperate Dan
  • 5 Grease Stop
  • 6 Apprentice Dentist
  • 7 Man in the Boat
  • 8 Newcy Brown
  • 9 McCavity
  • 10 Chester Zoo
  • 11 Naughty Boy
  • 12 Mister Methane
  • 13 More Tea Vicar?
  • 14 Two Stroke Eddie
  • 15 Animal Testing
  • 16 Don’t Fear the Sweeper
  • 17 Poodles